I like my day job. I love being a mom even though it is unequivocally a “job” too. I’ve spent most of my adult life searching for the perfect job; one that is flexible, rewarding, fun, and creative (and pays me a lot of money). I have worked in the fields of wholesale furniture, fitness, interior design, and even mental health. It’s taken me until now, at fifty-two years old, to realize that my “dream” job is right in front of me, I’m already doing it, just not owning it. I can be a good mom, help people transform their lives, express myself creatively, and have fun. Now I know that these “jobs” don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
I’ve read many interesting and inspiring blogs over the years, wishing that I could have one of my own. I felt pangs of regret about missing the “mommy blog” boat because of my kids were already young adults. As a single mom of four, I could relate to stories of poop, bedtime, discipline, and exhaustion; however, all of that was in the past. Wahhhh! I longed to be a part of the blogging community, but fear kept me from putting myself out there. I secretly started several blogs, but couldn’t bring myself to invite anyone to read them. I was afraid of not being good enough, of not knowing what I was doing, and of people thinking that my blog was stupid. I was the only one holding myself back.
Well, I am finally jumping off the fence and adding “blogger” to my job description. No more excuses, I am facing my fear and letting go of the outcome. When I moved some of my old posts to this blog, I read them and realized that they weren’t bad at all. Reality slapped me right in the face. Why has this been so hard? I’ve blogged in secret for four years! I see clearly now that I let my self-imposed limitations and fear keep me from having my dream job. I am committed to pushing through when I am afraid, knowing that when that little voice inside says “don’t do it,” it is the thing I need to do. As Maya Angelou so eloquently said, “When you know better, you do better.”
So today I’m going public, for me.